Chaos and order
We are born into the world as inquisitive adventurers, full of hope and devoid of experience. The only order that we desire is the delivery of what we want in the moment that we want it. Food when we're hungry, comfort when we're afraid or access to the thing that just caught our attention.
As we gain experience we see the utility of order but seek the adventure of chaos. Order limits possibilities while chaos offers possibilities and hope. A child thinks to himself, I want to fly and I deserve to fly so I'll just jump off the couch and fly. The bruising reality of the order of the laws of physics imposes limits on the hopes and possibilities of the children of sound minds.
Youth views order as tyranny and chaos as an ally. Tis adventurous to get stoned, drive 100 mph and have unprotected sex with one of those mysterious girl creatures. Who are those boring parents to tell me otherwise?
Adults abhor chaos as they have seen the aftermath of carnage when order subsides. Adults go to great lengths to impose order once they see the benefits of a steady job, a warm house, food in the pantry and a few beloved hobbies to amuse themselves during leisure time.
Adults try to order every aspect of their life. Work schedule, sleep time, diet, budgets and the consistency of grass in the lawn. Everything can be orderly and predictable if one will only work at it. And it seems to be possible until their children are born into their life..
Adults try to educate children with their wisdom of the utility of order. But children, being creatures of chaos, resist their parents and in doing so bring chaos into the parent's otherwise orderly life.
Every aspect of the parent's orderly life is attacked and ground down for 25 years until these parents begin to believe that chaos is inevitable. Parents initially work harder to provide resources to insatiable children. High standards are lowered as grades falter, antisocial acts are committed and resources are turned into smoldering ruins.
Parents initially fight the chaos and believe that order can be reinstated. Great sums of energy are expended in a futile battle to impose order on chaotic children. The best that can be expected is an uneasy truce between parents and children. Chaos mitigated or delayed.
Wise adults learn to segregate chaos and find a few aspects of their life where order can aspire. Perhaps a given chore, hobby or duty can be orderly and provide comfort in an otherwise chaotic world. Energy is rationed to those causes that seem winnable. The rest are left to varying degrees of chaos.
Mature adults learn that chaos is inevitable and make accommodations with it. Health and vitality fail, things fall apart and human nature is mostly dark. The tree that you plant and nurture for shade and beauty grows wild and rains dead branches down on your rotting house and ever-growing lawn. The children that your rear as a comfort in your old age rain trouble and chaos in your life. Tis better to accept it than fight the truth.
Eventually accommodation becomes surrender. Chaos is victorious. The mature adult sees his body failing even as everything he has worked for his entire life falls apart. Mortar falls from between the bricks, the flower bed is overgrown with weeds, the car rusts and flesh becomes weak and wrinkled.
A wise adult embraces chaos as a part of God's plan. Chaos is part of the One just as order is the other part of the One. Neither can exist without the other. Eat the well prepared and laid out meal knowing that the next day it will be feces. They are One and the same.
Hope and DespairWe are all born with boundless hope for a better future. The hungry infant hopes for the warm, wet nipple. The wet, cold child hopes for the warmth of the family hearth. The lonely teen hopes for the companionship of her young lover's strong embrace. A young man hopes to find a good job and loving wife to raise beloved children. An old woman hopes her spouse lives long to provide safety and comfort in her old age.
Hope is possibilities yet possibilities need chaos to come into existence. But all hopes end in an orderly outcome. So hope is born of chaos and grows into order.
But order is constantly under attack by chaos. Hope, being the grown child of chaos, is attacked by the chaos that spawned it. Mom runs away with a biker, the home is ruined by the storm, the lover finds another, the job is out-sourced and the old man dies young. Hope dims then fades as the sum of chaos saps the will of the besieged.
The nature of chaos and resulting failure of hope leads to cynicism. The cynic learns from experience that everything falls apart and that life's outcomes are mostly bad. The new house starts rotting as soon as one moves in, the job in a growth industry becomes obsolete as soon as you are vested in retirement, the beloved child grows up to be an addicted sociopath and the lively young man that you bedded becomes a mean-spirited, impotent drunk who dies at 50.
The cynic is a realist who honestly observes the world around him and expects little to prepare him for the pain from chaos that is sure to come. So cynicism is a protective device. But cynicism in extreme can make one bitter and subject to despair.
When all hope flees from one's life then the result is despair. The certainty that tomorrow offers new horrors from chaos demoralizes the human spirit. It becomes more difficult to see the many tiny events that should give hope to those who would see. Those tiny events are there every minute of every day. The child who tries something new, the woman who becomes a wife, a mother who rocks her child to sleep, the visit to the elderly woman who lives alone and the soldier who stands between the tyrant and the weak.
Hope and despair are also part of the One. Neither can exist without the other. They provide balance if considered in equal parts.
The One, God's PlanOrder-chaos, hope-despair are God's pairs that make life bearable. Complete order would be as dull as utter chaos would be over-stimulating. Endless hope would be as unfulfilling as boundless despair.
T'would be better for the cynic to make his peace with chaos and find hope in the many tiny hopeful events that happen every minute of every day. The cynic can expect the worst but look for the best to make life bearable. Don't expect perfection, just look for balance. That seems to be God's plan.
God is talking to me...I just need to listen.