Hope

No white Christmas at the Bruig this year. Monday through Wednesday will bring heavy rain turning the landscape into a muddy swampland. We'll have a brown Christmas this year.That always brightens my spirit this time of year.

The company's looming bankruptcy, the family's financial hardship, the daughter's ugly divorce and the harsh global economic realities are all aligning to make this the gloomiest holiday season of my life. If not for the grandkids and wife, I'd box it up and just forget about it this year.

I think Christmas is mostly about hope. God's gift of salvation is hope for life beyond this existence. Puny humans use Christmas to convey a sense of hope to our mortal existence. But for me, everywhere I look in my life there is nothing but ruin for me and everything that I love. The endless gloom saps my very will to go on in this dreamless, hopeless existence.

I'll keep searching for something, anything to give me hope and some sense of holiday cheer this year. But hope is fading with each passing day.